But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
