the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
