how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my being single is dangerous.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
