I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize