i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
