arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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