the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
