I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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