Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
