imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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