just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
