last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
