sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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