he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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