whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
