You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
