I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
