I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
50% drunk capacity currently
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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