$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
