he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Someone signed my nipple.
PANTIES FOUND
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