Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize