Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
