So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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