I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
