I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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