Dual....:-)
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
