Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
