You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
