He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
