the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
