CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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