whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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