she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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