would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
false alarm, still single
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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