New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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