it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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