everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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