i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
