No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
