Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize