This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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