We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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