if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
