I look better un-naked...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
