I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
