i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
