Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
