How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
