in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
