Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
