i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
