thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
