I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
