...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize