what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
