I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
