nutella sex= disaster
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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