I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
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