Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
barbara walters just said penis...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
