i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
