i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
