Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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