I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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